Okay There Guy: Curt Schilling

Far be it from me to point out that Curt Schilling would have an uphill fight in seeking a U.S. Senate Seat in Massachusetts, given the state's recent electoral showing.

I would also certainly not be so crude as to torpedo this statement with an ironic barrage of links:

While Schilling has never run for or held political office, he said it’s an asset because he’s unencumbered by special interest connections.

“My credentials are that I have no baggage,” he said.

While I myself will of course take a gentleman at his word until given reason to doubt it, others might not observe a code of proper conduct so rigorously. "No baggage, indeed. Nothing between the Bloody Sock Game and this morning," an ignorant, uncouth oaf might remark between bites of his hamburger sandwich and immoderate swigs of beer. "Okay guy, whatever."

That clod might continue to read a statement like this one

“The person that works 9-to-5 for crap dollars gets spat on, and it’s becoming a state that’s next to impossible to live and prosper in, and I think it was anything but when it was founded,” he said at one point. At another, he proclaimed, “The status quo sucks. The status quo is not working.”

and opine that Curt Schilling Professional Baseballer's knowledge of said subject has been gained from his extensive study of the Boston Herald opinion page while seated in stall 3 of the home clubhouse in Fenway Park. This person might bray that, considering only thirty percent of state voters supported repealing the income tax in November 2008, there might not be a big enough "eeeeeevil gubmint is taking my money and giving it to bums and darkies" vote to put Schilling over the top. Said person might note the high rankings of the Commonwealth on most measures of quality of life, and also might declare that if Curt Schilling could name the century in which either Massachusetts Bay Colony or the Commonwealth were founded he would eat his hat.

And finally, our hypothetical man-of-low-breeding might question whether there is any causal connection between Schilling's well-thought-out analysis of public rectitude in the Bay State and his choice of comparison:

“This state, next to Illinois, is probably looked on as one of the most corrupt, laughable political scenes in the nation, and it should be just the opposite,” he said during one of his regular appearances on WEEI-AM, a sports radio station. “I think there’s so much broke here, that the fixing piece, I don’t think you’d have to look very hard to pick up the pieces of debris and start to reform and fix it.”

And, finally, our hypothetical Joe-Twelve-Pack might rudely and impolitely note a proclivity on the part of Mr. Schilling to run his mouth and then issue half-assed apologies and backtrack when when criticized. This person might opine that if Schilling could only master the art of blaming the media for his ill-advised comments, an art that he's begun to practice--

And he expressed surprise at the reaction after he told a cable television reporter he was considering a campaign.

“The chances of it happening are slim to none, but they ran with I’ve been thinking about it, so it’s gone nuts,” he said.

then he might make the leap to running for Vice President.



Bearing in mind, of course, that to actually speak these things would be terribly uncouth.

In conclusion, our imaginary interlocutor, were he a native-born Masshole, might thank Schilling for the memories and suggest that Schilling pursue his political interests in the Granite State, where the Northabamans are more receptive to this stuff.